"I was 33 years old and had just given birth to our second child. Our older daughter was 2 years old and very shy and clingy.
"I nursed my baby but all the while kept staining and bleeding. I stayed in close touch with my gynaecologist, reporting to him on a weekly basis until he finally decided to put me through tests, exams, etc... I was to be operated within 3 ½ months of giving birth and quite shockingly what was thought to be an ectopic pregnancy turned out to be cancer, quite rare, but luckily caught in early stages.
"That was 24 years ago. At that time, I needed to be hospitalized for a week for each of my chemotherapy treatments. My biggest concern was for our daughter, who was not only “dethroned” by her baby brother, but she was also being abandoned by her mother and protector. Needless to say, our household had been turned upside down, and she was feeling the effects, but not quite comprehending why.
"So, what I decided to do to comfort her somewhat, and help her cope with my absence, was to be truthful to her in a way that she could understand and cope with. I explained to her that I had become sick, and that my doctor was making me well in hospital with medicines. Before I would go to hospital for treatment, we would both count 7 days on our fingers that I would be away from home. I promised her that I would telephone her every morning from the hospital (which I did) and we would count down the days until I would come home. That way she would have the comfort of my telephone call each day, and at the end of my hospitalization, I would come home as promised.
"My mother-in-law had moved in to our home and along with a great aunt, looked after our 2 children. Other family members pitched in to shop for groceries, drive the children to doctor appointments, nursery school, and offer their help and support in various ways. Although I felt demoralized for not being able to look after my new baby, I felt comforted knowing that he was having all his needs met and that he was far too young to understand that I was missing.
"So, our daughter’s days continued with her normal activities and my reassuring voice each morning. What helped me get through those harrowing treatments was the knowledge that I was able to reassure our daughter and help her to cope with the trauma that she was experiencing."
Deborah - Diagnosed in April/May 1994 - 2 daughters - aged 7 & 3
Two months after leaving my husband, I was diagnosed with breast cancer, at 30 years old, it didn't seem real, but it was; and I had a goal almost from day one... I was going to make my children's lives as normal as possible. They would be involved in everything that was happening with me.
One vivid memory was of my younger daughter rubbing my head a lot to keep it warm from having no hair, and another memory I remember, was my older daughter coming home from school one day and I was in bed, she stood at the door and asked me if she came to close would she catch what I had. I realized then that things must have been going way to fast for my kids, I had to take a step back and simply what was happening to me.
It was quite an emotional roller coaster in the supposedly normal aftermath. I went back to work, my hair started growing, my children were becoming more confident with my health. I rejoiced in the fact that I had reached one of my goals, my children were living a normal existence. They were doing good in school, they never missed one birthday party, they were both enrolled in Karate, Ballet, swimming and they were very open and expressive about sickness and divorce.
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